I Caved

I caved last night and bought a pack of cigs. I had been doing good all week. Let me say I have smoked for 40 years. I am feeling like I am giving up a friend. I have to get my mind set again and rethink my strategy. I am not going to give up. I hate that I failed - I feel like a failure. This is hard to do.

Day One Progress

I am so proud of myself. Yesterday I did good with only 4 cigs for the whole day. Two of those were yesterday morning. Got to get new patches though. These that I bought from WM the Equate brand seem to come off after 12 hours. They are suppose to stay put for 24 hours. Plus I bought the wrong ones - I bought step 3 instead of step one. Yikes but its still working.

Not too concerned with what I'm eating right now. Just mindful.

I'm on my Way

OK. My goal at the end of last week was to prepare for stopping smoking. I have tried so many times and have had some degree of success. Quit once for 2 yrs and stupidly started back. As I am contemplating and preparing my mind for what I am about to accomplish I remind myself that I need to do something positive for myself in place of the cigarettes. I spotted a book/magazine from Prevention titled Walk Off Weight. While I can stand to lose some weight - losing weight is not my goal here. However being good to myself is important as I throw all of my efforts into leaving off something bad for me. Ok so this book will be encouraging - has lots of tips for getting healthy and exercise guides.

I purchased nicotine patch and nicotine gum and hard candy. I planned on putting on the patch on Sat while permitting myself to continue to smoke. What I noticed pretty quick was that I didn't even have craving. So I ended up cutting back on the amount I was smoking. Yeah.

This morning was to be the bid day of total abstinance. I realized yesterday that I had purchased the wrong patches. I bought for step 3. I need step one first. So I am wearing the patch and am giving myself permission to smoke only 4 or 5 today. I'll be getting the patch for step one.

While my focus is on stopping smoking and making sure I am successful my mind is thinking about making myself a healthier person and replacing the bad habit with some good ones.

I am shooting for a successful day!

It's a Struggle

Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity. John F. Kennedy

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. (World Health Organization)

Why is it so hard to be good to yourself? I have good intentions but they falter. OK so good INTENTIONS are nothing without ACTION. I have all the tools I need. It is easy to do nothing. It is work to make changes and be good to yourself.

My routine needs to revamped. I need to turn off the TV and get busy. I watch a lot of TV since I live alone. Being alone lends itself to routine most times. OK. I've acknowledges this much.

My health is at stake here. I am heart attack waiting to happen. I feel the twinges in my heart sometime like and old engine trying to run with oil build up. Last night I lay in bed just hoping that I wasn't about to have a heart attack.

The thing I need to conquer most is to stop smoking these nasty cigarettes. I know what they are doing to me. I've quit before. I absolutely HAVE to stop.

I need to eat more nutriciously(sp). I eat whatever is fastest most times it is eggs. Eggs are alright but I need to eat other things. I need to plan. I have vitamins but I don't take them. I need to start taking them.

Alright my head is spinning with changes I need to make. One change will lead to another.

Confessing this here will make me more accountable I hope. Changes are a struggle sometime but I am going to work on what I have to do.

The Stationary Bike

The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure. by Sven Goran Ericksson

This is the baby that is gonna help me to attain my goals. I am feeling great as my daily time increases. I will be increasing my time and tension on the bike at least once a week. The weights are also making a difference in the way I feel. My time on the bike over the past 4 days is 50 minutes. I have been using the weights 4 times a week. Blood pressure has been good hanging out at 140 something over 80 or 90 something. My heart rate has been good - resting at 78 or so and increasing to 125 when exercising. A very good feeling - it's working as my heart rate has been dropping and the pressure is getting better.

Tracking my calories, carbs and fiber makes me more conscious of what I'm putting in my mouth. But I have a problem with writing stuff down. If I begin to chart my success on paper I become so distracted that I end up eating more than if I didn't write it down. When I use to do the WW program it didn't seem to be a problem then. I have to be aware of certain things such as fiber in my diet due to digestive disorders. My goal is to get at least 20 -30 grams of fiber a day. I am drinking more water too. I am also aware of fatty foods due to high cholesterol. I should be but am not currently taking meds to reduce cholesterol.

Hope you all have a great fourth of July.