I Caved

I caved last night and bought a pack of cigs. I had been doing good all week. Let me say I have smoked for 40 years. I am feeling like I am giving up a friend. I have to get my mind set again and rethink my strategy. I am not going to give up. I hate that I failed - I feel like a failure. This is hard to do.

Day One Progress

I am so proud of myself. Yesterday I did good with only 4 cigs for the whole day. Two of those were yesterday morning. Got to get new patches though. These that I bought from WM the Equate brand seem to come off after 12 hours. They are suppose to stay put for 24 hours. Plus I bought the wrong ones - I bought step 3 instead of step one. Yikes but its still working.

Not too concerned with what I'm eating right now. Just mindful.

I'm on my Way

OK. My goal at the end of last week was to prepare for stopping smoking. I have tried so many times and have had some degree of success. Quit once for 2 yrs and stupidly started back. As I am contemplating and preparing my mind for what I am about to accomplish I remind myself that I need to do something positive for myself in place of the cigarettes. I spotted a book/magazine from Prevention titled Walk Off Weight. While I can stand to lose some weight - losing weight is not my goal here. However being good to myself is important as I throw all of my efforts into leaving off something bad for me. Ok so this book will be encouraging - has lots of tips for getting healthy and exercise guides.

I purchased nicotine patch and nicotine gum and hard candy. I planned on putting on the patch on Sat while permitting myself to continue to smoke. What I noticed pretty quick was that I didn't even have craving. So I ended up cutting back on the amount I was smoking. Yeah.

This morning was to be the bid day of total abstinance. I realized yesterday that I had purchased the wrong patches. I bought for step 3. I need step one first. So I am wearing the patch and am giving myself permission to smoke only 4 or 5 today. I'll be getting the patch for step one.

While my focus is on stopping smoking and making sure I am successful my mind is thinking about making myself a healthier person and replacing the bad habit with some good ones.

I am shooting for a successful day!

It's a Struggle

Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity. John F. Kennedy

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. (World Health Organization)

Why is it so hard to be good to yourself? I have good intentions but they falter. OK so good INTENTIONS are nothing without ACTION. I have all the tools I need. It is easy to do nothing. It is work to make changes and be good to yourself.

My routine needs to revamped. I need to turn off the TV and get busy. I watch a lot of TV since I live alone. Being alone lends itself to routine most times. OK. I've acknowledges this much.

My health is at stake here. I am heart attack waiting to happen. I feel the twinges in my heart sometime like and old engine trying to run with oil build up. Last night I lay in bed just hoping that I wasn't about to have a heart attack.

The thing I need to conquer most is to stop smoking these nasty cigarettes. I know what they are doing to me. I've quit before. I absolutely HAVE to stop.

I need to eat more nutriciously(sp). I eat whatever is fastest most times it is eggs. Eggs are alright but I need to eat other things. I need to plan. I have vitamins but I don't take them. I need to start taking them.

Alright my head is spinning with changes I need to make. One change will lead to another.

Confessing this here will make me more accountable I hope. Changes are a struggle sometime but I am going to work on what I have to do.

The Stationary Bike

The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure. by Sven Goran Ericksson

This is the baby that is gonna help me to attain my goals. I am feeling great as my daily time increases. I will be increasing my time and tension on the bike at least once a week. The weights are also making a difference in the way I feel. My time on the bike over the past 4 days is 50 minutes. I have been using the weights 4 times a week. Blood pressure has been good hanging out at 140 something over 80 or 90 something. My heart rate has been good - resting at 78 or so and increasing to 125 when exercising. A very good feeling - it's working as my heart rate has been dropping and the pressure is getting better.

Tracking my calories, carbs and fiber makes me more conscious of what I'm putting in my mouth. But I have a problem with writing stuff down. If I begin to chart my success on paper I become so distracted that I end up eating more than if I didn't write it down. When I use to do the WW program it didn't seem to be a problem then. I have to be aware of certain things such as fiber in my diet due to digestive disorders. My goal is to get at least 20 -30 grams of fiber a day. I am drinking more water too. I am also aware of fatty foods due to high cholesterol. I should be but am not currently taking meds to reduce cholesterol.

Hope you all have a great fourth of July.

The purpose of life is a life with purpose. Robert Byrne

It felt good this weekend to be actually be making some progress on the exercise bike and using some 5# dumbells. My BP was pretty good 147/85 and a heart rate of 84 was good when I exercised bringing my rate up to 130. And then my resting rate dropped to a good 80. That may seem high to some people but for someone who has been a couch potato for such a long time I'm doing good. I am even anticipating my next time on the bike and the weights.

Weekend totals:
Bike - 30 min
DB 5# curls - 48
DB 5# press - 48
DB 5# butterfly press - 48
DB 5# overhead tricep press - 24

Calories,etc - didn't count anything but I monitored more carefully water and food intake. Charting will begin today.

This horrible heat is keeping me indoors for the most part. I managed to weed some on Saturday morning early. The sprinkler was needed as they are suffering. It's been at least 2 weeks since I've had rain and the flowers and fruit trees/bushes are suffering.

Not really much going on in my world today. Busy work day ahead.

Wishing my fellow bloggers a blessed day.

I did good yesterday - I rode the exercise bike for 15 minutes last evening and I ate healthier. My appetite is still not where it aught to be. My BP last evening was 150/96 with a pulse of 80.

This morning I rode the bike again for 10 minutes. My BP this morning was high - 160/113 and a pulse of 80. I cut my 20mg Lisinopril in quarters and took 5mg. The last time I took 10mg my pressure dropped too much - 89/65. This might not seem low to some people but if you have high blood pressure that is a very uncomfortable. It makes me very weak and dizzy and nausiated (sp).

OK on to something else.

I am not feeling depressed today. Probably because I am so busy. I have an audit next Tuesday to get ready for. In case you didn't know I am a bookkeeper/accountant for a construction company. I hate gathering info for an audit but this not my first - so I am preparing with all of my ammo.

The weather here is stiffling hot. The humidity is so high and the temps are high making it feel like 105-110 degrees.

Today I am thankful that my Pop (step dad - the kindest man I have ever known) is home from the hospital and feeling better.

Ya'll have a good day. Becca

A New Day - A Beginning AGAIN

Does that title even make sense. Oh well.

I just picked up my ex's exercise bike and am excited to get started riding. I rode this morning - get this now - 2 min, rested, then 3 min, rested, then 5 min. Heart rate was 130 in the beginning - ooohhhh kinda high. My morning rate is always high anyhow along with the blood pressure so I didn't want to force it too much. I felt so GOOD to ride. Numbers were: BP 156/97 with a pulse of 130.

Next I plan to incorporate the weights in my routine. Listen at me - I don't have a routine. But I will.

It is my desire that I keep up some sort of exercise routine.

My appetite hasn't been so good since I was sick again at the end of May. But that is just now beginning to improve. I've lost a few pounds too.

I also have been feeling depressed. Seems my daily activities - well I have none other than work. I NEED to do something to liven up my life and existence. I ended up calling my last sort of boy-friend yesterday. He came to visit last night and I feel better today and more invigorated. Rrrrrrr.

Maybe we'll go boat riding this weekend or next. We will have to stay inland on the Escatawpa River to stay away from the booms in the Gulf and bayous.

I'm looking forward to riding the exercise bike this afternoon and am expecting company again. That will be good.